


Peculiar Weakness

by WildKitte



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ANBU life is hard y'all, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Injury, M/M, Minor Character Death, Naruto AU, Regret, anbu au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 18:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildKitte/pseuds/WildKitte
Summary: The mission went awry about halfway.In retrospect they probably should've known it was a trap – but there was nothing they could do about it now.Carrying unconscious Kuroo in his arms, leaping from tree to tree, Bokuto searched frantically for a hiding place. He trusted in Akaashi's ability to make it into the village quickly – he was uninjured and able to travel fast, and the reinforcements would come in no time. Maybe within three days.





	Peculiar Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I've been watching so much Naruto recently oh my god.  
> I would like to thank Ola for kicking me to work to finally finish this fic and then reading this through, with some good advice. I'm forever grateful as always.
> 
> //EDITED bc im a moron lmao

 

The mission went awry about halfway.

 

In retrospect they probably should've known it was a trap – but there was nothing they could do about it now.

 

Carrying unconscious Kuroo in his arms, leaping from tree to tree, Bokuto searched frantically for a hiding place. He trusted in Akaashi's ability to make it into the village quickly – he was uninjured and able to travel fast, and the reinforcements would come in no time. Maybe within three days.

 

Chakra-depletion gnawed at his consciousness, but he decidedly pushed it away – getting Kuroo to safety, albeit relative at most, was the priority now. He landed on the ground near a cliff and put Kuroo down, propping him up against a tree, putting a kunai in his limp hand. Bokuto pretended he couldn't hear Kuroo's weak whine.

There was a small opening, a little cave that could be easily disguised and hidden with a simple barrier seal. Bokuto checked the perimeters, expanding his chakra for any unwanted presence – their pursuers or someone equally as hostile – and after he deemed it safe, he gathered Kuroo in his arms again as carefully as possible.

”Bo...” Kuroo whispered, technically breaking the ANBU mask protocol, but Bokuto just shushed him and jumped out of the tree, trying to make the landing as soft as possible. He felt a twinge of guilt when Kuroo grunted in pain anyway but ignored it for now – he had time to succumb into guilt when Kuroo was safe and out of danger. He had some chakra left and he knew basic medical jutsu, to at least make the situation better – Akaashi had healed him to his best capacity and left them painkillers and soldier pills.

 

Bokuto just had to hope that was enough.

 

Setting up the barrier was quick. Having set Kuroo on his field mattress, unmasked, and after making sure he was in a comfortable position and warm, Bokuto set out to find something to drink, and maybe eat as well. Soldier pills and field rations would feed them for a while, but proper food would be welcome as well. The summer heat was his biggest worry – if Kuroo got a fever from his injuries, he would need water, lots of it not to dry out. Dehydration was no joke, Bokuto knew it first-hand.

He could feel the mood drop coming, but pushed it away. He still had a duty to fill, and once night came he could brood in peace. He knew it was against the ninja code, to show feelings and, even worse as an ANBU operative, to _have feelings_ . They would compromise the mission; he could never leave Kuroo behind even if Akaashi had needed back-up. He couldn’t, no, _wouldn’t_ do that.

 

Love was such a peculiar weakness to have.

 

He found a river nearby and filled both of their flagons to the brim, memorizing the route as he trekked back. He saw a couple fish swimming along the current and decided to come back – this was going to be their dinner, albeit perhaps bland without anything to spice it with. Not that it mattered; they’d had worse meals in his time in black ops.

 

 

Kuroo woke up as Bokuto was frying the fish.

It was subtle, he stirred and then stilled completely – defense mechanism to waking up in a strange place, but as he sensed Bokuto’s chakra he relaxed and opened his eyes, blinking blearily.

”Your mask,” he rasped, and Bokuto was already there to give him water. Kuroo drank obediently and then looked up at him. ”The mask.”

”I sealed the cave entrance. We’re safe.” For now. ”I sent Akaashi to get backup.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened and he attempted to sit up, only to wince in pain and Bokuto pushed him back down.

”And you didn’t go with him? Are you mad?” Kuroo’s tone was accusing, and angry. Bokuto looked away, sulking.

”He was in the best condition out of us.”

”And Yukie?”

 

Another wave of guilt.

”Bo?”

”She didn’t make it.” His eyes were burning, but he couldn’t afford to regret it now.

”Koutarou...”

”Please don’t.” He didn’t dare to look at Kuroo – he wasn’t certain whether he was more afraid of anger or pity. ”We hid the body under a seal with Akaashi. I’m going to retrieve her after I’ve stored more chakra.” It was the least he could do, take her back to Konoha, having failed her so irreversibly. ”For now I’m not leaving you, not until the backup comes.”

Kuroo’s hand found his, and he laced their fingers together.

”You should’ve left me.”

”You of all people should know I couldn’t,” Bokuto said, and turned to look at him. Kuroo stared back.

”Are we going to talk about this now?” he asked, uncertainty clear in his expression. Bokuto simply raised Kuroo’s gloved hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss there. It wasn’t an answer, but it wasn’t ’no’ either.

 

Bokuto propped him up against the cave wall, silently apologizing when Kuroo hissed in pain. He changed Kuroo’s bandages and cleaned the deep cut stretching across his side. The sun had set about two hours ago, they were approaching midnight – Akaashi should be within the Fire Country border now. It would be a long wait, still, before anyone came for them.

Anyone but the enemy, that was.

Anger surged through him as he thought of the missing-nin who had ambushed them – they had already completed their mission, a clean-cut retrieval of a confidential scroll from the Land of Earth, when they’d run into a band of missing-nins from Iwagakure. Their four man squad had been overwhelmed, not only by numbers but against two rare blood limit types. Shirofuku Yukie, codename Sparrow, had saved their ass with her last jutsu that killed both her opponents and her. Bokuto had simply been to slow. Bokuto had simply been too incompetent. Yukie’s family would never find out what happened to her – she died like an ANBU, without name, without funeral or fanfares for her sacrifice for the village.

It was his fault. There was no way around it. He had failed as captain. His incompetence had gotten Yukie killed, Kuroo injured and himself chakra-depleted – he never learned to hold back with his jutsu, he could’ve gotten _himself_ killed. He was so, so stupid.

 

”I forbid you from blaming yourself.”

Kuroo punched his arm weakly. Its faint, pathetic impact made Bokuto’s lips wobble and tears sprung to his eyes. He could feel the shakes setting in, his entire body like a leaf trembling in strong wind.

The sharpened tips of Kuroo’s gloves scraped his cheek before soothed by a soft, gentle palm.

”Koutarou, please,” Kuroo’s voice was pleading, _understanding_. ”It was bad luck. We did everything we could. Yukie… Yukie made the decision by herself, she knew how it would end.”

”If I hadn’t been so preoccupied by you,” Bokuto choked up. ”I couldn’t leave you there, I knew Akaashi was there but my brain froze when you fell.” Head hanging, he sniffled. ”It’s not your fault, I’m just… I’m so stupid, I never learn, I was too slow, it should’ve been me.”

Kuroo suddenly gripped his neck and pulled him closer. Bokuto yelped – Kuroo’s eyes were _murderous_.

”Don’t. You. Dare.”

”But – ”

”Yukie wouldn’t have wanted it. She made the decision.” He then slumped back, as if strings had been cut from his limbs. ”And I… if you die I will kill you.” He tilted his head; his smile was tired, vulnerable.

Bokuto sniffed again.

”That doesn’t make sense.”

”Koutarou, I swear...” Kuroo closed his eyes. ”I would’ve done the exact same thing for you.” The silence was heavy between them. The vaning fire popped, the fish sizzling, probably burning. ”Love is not...”

”Acceptable, I know.”

” _Weak_ , Koutarou. It’s not a flaw.”

 

And so Bokuto broke down, kneeling in front of Kuroo, heaving with the sobs that rocked his entire body.

”I’m so sorry, _I’m so sorry_...”

Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair and shushed him.

Eventually they fell asleep like that, Bokuto’s head on Kuroo’s lap. The fish burned.

 

 

*

 

Two days passed in similar manner. Bokuto changed Kuroo’s bandages twice more, until he ran out and refused to use their dirty clothes for emergency bandage. They slept together, Kuroo shushing him as he woke up to another nightmare, Yukie’s final apologetic smile in their direction, unable to swap their places as the explosive jutsu went off…

”It’s okay,” Kuroo told him, ”It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but Bokuto stopped shaking, even if his tears did not listen to common sense.

Bokuto went to get more water every couple hours, even if Kuroo told him not to risk it. Occasionally the seal would buzz in warning – someone was nearby, they could hear the voices of their pursuers, but they never came close enough to trigger any of the traps Bokuto had set by the entrance.

Kuroo slept a lot, but Bokuto knew it to be a good thing. There was no fever, at least, so he rested easy. He himself had gotten away with bruises, which somehow made it even worse. He watched Kuroo sleeping from the cave entrance, memorizing his features, monitoring his breathing, taking note of the smallest of movements. Kuroo was alive. That mattered, that had to matter. Yukie was gone, but Kuroo was alive.

 

The pain was somehow tangible this time – he had to clutch his chest, to stop himself from crying, again, from wailing in pain with the guilt for what he had done. He could have lost Kuroo, he had been so immensely _stupid_ , he had endangered them all and yet he would do it all over again. If it meant Kuroo survived, he didn’t care much. It scared him, but Kuroo was everything.

Kuroo stirred.

”Kou,” he whispered. ”My turn. Come sleep.”

Bokuto knew better than to argue. He climbed next to Kuroo, and rested his head on his lap. Kuroo’s warmth and familiar scent lulled him to sleep.

 

 

”Koutarou.”

Bokuto opened his eyes.

”Someone’s outside.”

”Enemy?”

”I can’t tell.”

”I’m going to check.”

Kuroo swallowed audibly. ”Please be careful.” Bokuto rose up, checking Kuroo’s condition and then looked him in the eye.

”Okay,” he said finally, and leaned forward to press a tender kiss on his cheek. Kuroo’s breath shuddered. Bokuto forced himself to smile, squeezed his bicep and got up.

 

It had rained during the night. He couldn’t sense anyone at first – but then, a faint presence flickered for a moment. The rain should’ve erased their tracks but it wasn’t a problem for someone with a strong sense of smell – like someone with a dog familiar.

He unsheathed his tanto knife behind his back and grabbed a shuriken from his pouch. He could still fight, even if genjutsu, his proper specialty, was out of question.

Masking his presence, the owl mask covering his face, he slipped through the barrier.

 

A very familiar creature greeted him – Iwaizumi’s dog.

”Thank the gods,” Bokuto sighed, and released the jutsu.

In the opening stood masked ANBU nins – Hound, Hawk and Crow.

”Code,” Hawk stated, Ushijima’s voice steady and authoritative.

” _The cool breeze / Twisted and crooked, / Then came here_ ,” Bokuto recited with ease.

All three relaxed visibly and Bokuto released the barrier.

”How is he?” Iwaizumi asked.

”Stable, but the cut is deep.” Iwaizumi only nodded and went in. Crow turned to look at Bokuto.

”Sparrow?”

”Dead.”

Sawamura only nodded.

”Where is Swan?”

”We left him in Konoha,” he answered. ”Your condition?”

”Chakra-depleted but capable of taijutsu,” Bokuto said, starting to get frustrated. ”Can we get going? I want to retrieve Sparrow before the enemy gets to her.”

”We have dispatched the enemy,” Ushijima said coolly.

Bokuto couldn’t help but shiver, but he simply nodded.

”I’m sorry.”

”We’ll deal with that once we get back,” Ushijima said with finality in his voice – though not unkindly. ”Crow, Owl, you get Sparrow and get her to Konoha as soon as possible. Hound and I will bring Cat once his condition is stabilized.”

Bokuto nodded, shifting his weight uncomfortably as Ushijima ducked in the cave after Iwaizumi.

”Let’s go,” Sawamura said, squeezing his shoulder for comfort. ”He’ll be fine.”

There was nothing to do except follow Crow, but Bokuto allowed himself a last glimpse towards the cave, and a desperate prayer to any deity possibly listening.

 

 

*

 

”So.”

Fifth Hokage, Ukai Keishin, frowned as he read the mission report. Bokuto squirmed, waiting for the ground to swallow him, or a lightning to strike, but neither came; Fifth simply turned to his assistant and said:

”Takeda-san, please erase Sparrow from the ANBU records.” The man nodded and left the room.

”Hokage-sama,” Bokuto started, but Ukai simply waved his hand.

”From Hawk’s report I understand that you had no options. Good work taking care of Cat. I’m glad we didn’t lose another member.”

Bokuto bit his lip. The mask felt so heavy and hot. Or maybe it was his cheeks reddening in shame.

”Sparrow knew what she was doing.”

”Cat said the same.”

”Take this as a lesson,” Ukai said, and then offered him a smile. ”Now, I believe you have someone in the hospital waiting for you.”

Bokuto nodded, and flickered away, leaving behind a swirl of leaves.

 

 

Kuroo looked good, or at least better.

Kenma was feeding him apples, looking sour but Bokuto knew it was a front – why else would he have carved the apple slices to look like bunnies. He perked up when Bokuto stepped in the room and stood up. Kuroo’s head whipped to look at him, and a smile climbed on his bruised face.

”I’ll be back,” Kenma said, and nodded to Bokuto as he walked past him, shutting the door behind him.

Kuroo waved him to come closer and, well, what else could he do but obey.

”Did Ukai-sama grill you badly?” Kuroo asked and Bokuto gave him a lopsided smile.

”Not exactly.”

”Good,” Kuroo smiled back.

”You better?”

”Saeko-sensei is a magician.”

”I’ll thank her.”

Kuroo looked him in the eye and then fished Bokuto’s hand in his.

 

”I love you.”

There was such certainty in Kuroo’s voice; there was no space for Bokuto to deny it, had he even wanted to. He leaned over Kuroo and pressed their lips together in an affectionate, slow kiss. Kuroo grabbed his neck with his free hand and pulled him even closer. Bokuto’s chest felt full, and warm.

”Please never die,” he gasped against Kuroo’s lips – maybe he was crying again, he couldn’t quite tell.

”Well,” Kuroo started, but Bokuto silenced him with another kiss.

”Shut up.”

Kuroo smiled, but then got serious.

”Listen,” he said quietly, rubbing Bokuto’s neck with his thumb. ”I won’t promise this won’t happen again – but please, _please_ don’t throw your life away.”

”Kuroo...”

”No, listen, I’m not telling you to leave me behind next time. I would do the same for you, I’m weak like that.” His eyes were so soft; surely Bokuto did not deserve this. ”But don’t blame yourself if the worst happens.”

”You know you’re asking for the impossible, right?” Bokuto asked.

”I want to live, with you,” Kuroo said, and then laughed when Bokuto started crying again.  
  


_fin_.

**Author's Note:**

> The haiku in the middle:  
> 涼風の　曲がりくねって 　来たりけり  
> Suzukaze no/ Magari-kunette/ Kitari keri  
> ~ Kobayashi Issa (1763-1828)
> 
> Stuff I didn't include:  
> \- Bokuto was a bit of a prodigy and joined ANBU at 15, Kuroo followed him two years later  
> \- They don't appear here but Tendou's mask is a lizard, Oikawa's is beetle and Konoha's is fox  
> \- Saeko-sensei is obviously the Bestest Medi-nin, followed only by Oikawa, another prodigy
> 
> twitter [@wildkitte](https://twitter.com/wildkitte)  
> tumblr [@wildkittewrites](http://wildkittewrites.tumblr.com/)


End file.
